Title: Note on a Silencing
Author: Lacy Crawford
“That’s why I didn’t scream, see? That’s why I didn’t claw their eyeballs out, or bite. I was trying to find my place in that moment, and I could not admit to myself that the moment was violent”
“There is a contemporary inquiry into shame that suggests that shame is not as deeply rooted in guilt as power. In my experience, shame is not the wholehearted burn that follows a realization of guilt, which we consider to be shame’s obvious antecedent, but rather a surplus of displeasure that adheres to one party– and always the less powerful one.”
**This is one of the hardest reviews I’ve written thus far. I feel this review does not do this author justice**
While the quotes above are from Lacy Crawford’s memoir, I am reminded of another quote by Brene Brown when she talks about vulnerability, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” Lacy Crawford is not weak. Lacy Crawford’s vulnerability in telling her story is truly breathtaking and brave.
I finished this book three days ago and it’s taken me this long to sit down and get my thoughts out. This is a story about a young girl, who was silenced, repeatedly, after experiencing assault by two of her classmates at a boarding school when she was 15. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the writing style. It does jump around a bit as she shares her experiences and memories but once I got used to it, I loved it.
This story is raw, emotional and heartbreaking. Lacy becomes vulnerable and shares her experience with being assaulted and what she felt both physically and emotionally, as well as the challenges she faced as a survivor. You can see and feel the trauma she has as result of her experience.
Her story shows readers what lengths those in power will go to silence those impacted by this kind of assault. It shows how broken our system is. I feel fortunate to have read this story. I feel at a loss with words and I am not doing this review justice. I will say her story made me angry and it made me sad and when I finished I immediately wrote the author and thanked them for sharing her story. While this is a difficult read, I do think it’s a necessary one for many. When individuals are vulnerable and open up their hearts to us, we need to listen, even when it’s hard.